


All That I Had

by ironxprince



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Parent Tony Stark, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-07-17
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25223371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironxprince/pseuds/ironxprince
Summary: In 2023, Peter Parker is brought back from the snap to find that he has a younger brother.He's been replaced.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 176
Collections: The Friendly Neighborhood Exchange





	All That I Had

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Malya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malya/gifts).



> Huge thank you to @galactic-sam on Tumblr for beta-ing!

Peter sat beside a lake, his back to an unfamiliar cabin, trying to make sense of this abnormal world.

It had all happened so quickly - jumping onto that flying donut in eagerness to prove himself, meeting new people with too many names for him to remember, and then feeling as if every cell in his body was tearing itself apart as he tried to reach for his father, but never quite made it.

Waking up, alone, on the orange planet, walking through a yellow portal into the middle of a battle, relying on gut instincts and reactions and his enhanced senses to dodge and attack when necessary.

And then, a hush had fallen over the battlefield.

There was a glow, a literal rainbow haze settling over the gory battlefield, and, to his horror, Peter saw his father in the centre of it all.

It had been a close call, a difficult battle. Tony had been moved from emergency room to emergency room, was wheeled in and out of surgeries every other day with barely enough time to recover between them. Three weeks later, he was finally allowed home, bringing Peter with him - Peter, who had never left Tony’s bedside for a second.

And then, Tony introduced Peter to Mario.

Peter was confused, standing in the doorway of a strange cabin in the middle of a forest, looking at the small child clutching tightly to Uncle Rhodey’s hand. Peter’s uncle had changed, looking older and more tired, but everyone who hadn’t been Blipped seemed to look that way now. Peter guessed five years of grieving for the fate of the world and all that had been lost would have an effect like that.

Peter couldn’t take his eyes from the boy Tony had introduced as his… his  _ brother _ . He had large, brown eyes, his only resemblance to Tony (and the family, Peter troubled himself to think). His blond curls flopped into his eyes as he tucked himself behind Uncle Rhodey, his skin darker than Peter’s own. For a moment, all Peter could do was stare, looking between Tony and the child. Finally, he slowly lowered himself into a crouch.

“Hi there,” he said with a watery smile, mourning for all the time that had been lost. “I’m Peter. I’m… your older brother.”

Mario’s eyes flew to Tony, who had lowered himself, with a groan, to the floor beside Peter. “Hey, sweetheart, I missed you. Come here.” Tony held his arms open and Mario barrelled into them, burying his head against Tony’s chest, facing away from Peter.

Tony smiled apologetically to Peter - “He’s just nervous. He’ll get used to you, don’t worry” - as he stood with support from Uncle Rhodey and carried Mario to the kitchen. Peter remained on the floor, the world beginning to tilt beneath his feet.

_ Sweetheart _ .

The word sounded foreign in Tony’s tongue and it repeated in Peter’s mind.  _ Sweetheart _ . Tony didn’t call people  _ sweetheart _ \- he only ever called Peter  _ kid _ , or  _ buddy _ , at most. Was it because Mario was younger, or because Tony just loved him more than he ever had Peter?

Had Peter been replaced?

- -

Peter sat rigidly at the dinner table, picking at his vegetables. Between the nightmares not letting him rest, the constant flood of negative news and recaps of the last five years, and the flood of missing posters and families being reunited on every social media platform, he wasn’t particularly hungry. Peter wondered, if he hadn’t found Tony on that battlefield, would the same effort have been put into searching for him?

Across the table Tony was at Mario’s side, a constant hand on his back or brushing through his hair as Mario slowly picked his way through his food. If Peter had to guess, he’d put Mario’s age at six or seven, meaning he was born before the Snap. Since Mario bore no resemblance to Tony, and the man hadn’t been having ‘good times’ for over 13 years, Peter guessed he was adopted. 

Peter watched with a twinge of jealousy, followed quickly by guilt, as he watched Tony fawn over Mario, entertaining the child’s insignificant conversations with barely a glance in Peter’s direction.

Peter dropped his eyes to his plate and began to stab at a piece of cooked celery with newfound vigor. He had been  _ dead _ , or good as, for five years. Five years, which Tony had spent with a new child. Shouldn’t Tony be paying attention to  _ Peter  _ now? Sitting beside him, holding comfortingly to his shoulder, entertaining  _ his _ racing thoughts?

But these were things Tony had never done with him. Peter’s father had never been overly physically affectionate, never looked at Peter with the joy he was currently directing at Mario, like Mario had hung the moon and stars.

Peter guessed he was just never enough for Tony. Well, he was glad Tony had his happiness now.

Peter was sorry it took his absence for Tony to truly achieve it.

Peter stood abruptly from the table, and Tony’s head shot up.  _ Sorry I interrupted your precious bonding time with your favourite son _ , Peter thought bitterly, feelings of guilt being overridden by confusion, by anxiety and PTSD, by anger and frustration and worry and fear and everything he had buried since waking up on the orange planet.

He stormed over to the sink, dropping his plate in. Tony moved to stand, but Mario let out a small whine, keeping him in his chair.  _ Typical _ , Peter thought with a humourless laugh. “You alright, Pete?”

“Oh, I’m just swell,” Peter answered with a too-big smile, so painfully large it hurt his cheeks as he stormed from the kitchen and to the front door.

“Where are you going?”

“For a walk.”

“You-” Peter heard the skidding of a chair across the kitchen floor. He hurried to put his shoes on before Tony caught up to him. “You don’t even know where we are.”

“So I’ll walk around the lake.”

Tony hurried down the hallway toward him, but Peter was already pushing open the front door and stepping outside. He stormed down to the lake and stood at the edge of the dock, taking a moment to watch the ripples dance.  _ Too calm. _ The sun flitted across them, shimmering in Peter’s eyes.  _ Too pretty. _

Peter watched the scene unfold before him, feeling taunted by the serenity. He took a few heavy breaths to try to calm himself, but they just increased the pressure in his chest, tightened his hands into fists.

Peter let out a scream.

He sat down heavily on the dock, chest heaving. The silence was deafening around him, judging him for his thoughts, shaming him for his actions. He pulled off his shoes and let his feet dip into the water as he dropped his head into his hands.

He heard footsteps but paid them no mind until a body settled beside his on the dock. Peter didn’t want to look up, to be faced with the disappointment on his father’s face, the resentment at Peter’s selfish actions. Instead, Peter felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Can you talk to me?” Tony asked him. Peter heard joyful screams from somewhere behind him, Mario playing in front of the house.

Peter squeezed his eyes shut as he took a shaky breath, tears threatening to spill. “I’m sorry it took me leaving for you to be happy,” he whispered. “I’m sorry I didn’t go sooner.”

Peter expected some kind of outburst, anger of some sort, but instead he got an arm around his shoulder and Tony tugging him closer.

“Do you know why I adopted Mario?” Tony asked simply, looking out toward the lake.

“To replace me. You wanted to try again and hope for a better result.”

“Yeah,” Tony said softly, and Peter looked up at him, appalled. Sure, he was in a pretty heavy state of self-loathing right now, but he didn’t expect Tony to agree with him. “I wanted to try again. I was hoping for a better result, because I thought I had failed you. But he was never your replacement.

“You know how nervous I was to be a father. You saw how much I messed up when your mother dropped you off at my door, fifteen years ago - well, ten for you - and I’m sure you heard those anxious conversations I had with her after we thought you were asleep about how I was possibly the worst person to have the responsibilities of a child, but she entrusted you to me, and I’ve never been more grateful.”

“You called him sweetheart,” Peter said before he could stop himself, sniffling. “You make sure he eats right, and you look at him like- like he’s your everything.”

“And I never would’ve gotten the courage to do that if I didn’t have you.” Tony readjusted himself, taking Peter’s face in his hands. “I’ve spent five years without you, Peter,” he whispered, “and in those five years - or, just about an hour after I…  _ lost  _ you, really, I realized just how much I fucked up. I was scared to be a father, so I didn’t even try. I was nervous to show affection, so I convinced myself I wasn’t ready - but I was  _ so  _ ready, Peter. I wish I could’ve done more sooner. I wish I could’ve told you before… well,  _ everything _ , but I love you, and I always have. And if I could rewind five years and trade places with you on… in space, I would in a heartbeat.”

Peter sniffled as he shook his head. “So then why’d you adopt him?”

Tony turned, looking back to where Mario was jumping along the grass, playing with obstacles only he could see. “He has your eyes,” Tony whispered, taking a shaky breath before turning back to Peter. “Your eyes, and my mother’s name, and his parents had died of sickness before the snap. You made me realize just how much I love being a father, and so… after a couple of weeks, when I thought I would never get you back, I just- I tried to move on. You had left this child-sized hole in my heart, and I wanted to fill it, but that’s- it’s not how children work. My heart only grew. I love him so much, but he never replaced you. He couldn’t possibly. He introduced this new light to my life, but at night, after he fell asleep and I was lying awake in my own bed, trying to hide from the nightmares… I’d think of you. I’d think of how much I failed you, and- and all I would give to get you back.”

“And now you have me back,” Peter answered, eyes dutifully down, “and you haven’t done any of that.” Peter sniffled. “Sorry. I’m overreacting. This is dumb-”

Peter moved to stand from the dock but Tony grabbed his arm, pulling Peter back against his chest. Tony wrapped his arms around Peter in a hug and felt Peter sagging against him, as much as he might’ve wanted to fight it.

“It’s not dumb, and I never want to hear you say that again,” Tony murmured against Peter’s hair. “Everything you’re feeling right now, it’s all valid, and it’s good you’re getting it out now.” And maybe it was Tony’s voice, or the words he was saying, but Peter found himself crumbling, piece by piece, a heat beginning to grow behind his eyes.

“We’re both still getting used to this. I’ve been trying to gauge how you’re feeling, see if you’re ready for me to just… wrap you up and never let you go, because that’s all I’ve been thinking of doing since I saw you on that battlefield. You know that, right? It took everything in me to grab that gauntlet instead of running straight for you, and now that I have you… Pete, I’m never letting you go again, I promise.”

Peter nodded against Tony’s chest, taking a deep breath. “I’m ready,” he whispered, as if he were scared to hope.

“Are you sure?” Tony asked. “Because once you consent to being a blanket burrito, you can’t go back. I will never let you leave my sight, not ever.”

Peter laughed, and Tony’s heart soared at the sound. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

“Great.” Tony smiled. “Now, how would you like to meet Mario? Properly, this time, because technically he is your younger brother.”

Peter nodded, moving slowly to stand from the dock. Tony helped him up, quieting his voice. “Please… don’t take this out on him. If you’re mad, be mad at me, but Mario needs an older brother.”

Peter leaned against Tony’s side as they walked toward where the boy was dancing in front of the house. “I’m not mad,” he assured quietly. “Not anymore.”


End file.
